If you don’t remove your sabotaging beliefs, your efforts to make your life better then you will continue to repeat your old cycles indefinitely.
Have you ever tried to make changes in your life but always seem to get pulled back into the same old scenario over and over? The cycle of being broke, or having relationships that don’t work out, or moving from one job you hate to another job you hate just a little less?
These are all ways we keep ourselves in our habit/pattern loop cycles. We move from one experience to the next, repeating the same things, because we are unaware of the subconscious pattern under the surface that’s actually running the show.
We may consciously want something, but if our subconscious sees things differently, we won’t be able to manifest our desire. It’s only when we take a deeper look to acknowledge and heal the pattern that we become able to make lasting change in our lives.
There’s a simple process you can use to find and release the beliefs that limit you and hold you back. You no longer have to be a victim to your sabotaging habits. Here’s what to do to find them and finally remove them from your life.
The 5 Step Process to Remove Sabotaging Beliefs
Step 1: Become acutely aware of your thoughts and feelings.
They are directly connected and formulate the reality you experience.
Your thoughts formulate your beliefs (as a belief is only a thought you continually think). When you think a thought, there is usually an emotional response. This is where you can find your resistance and start uncovering the beliefs that sabotage your success.
Try this: think about an issue that’s pressing in your life. When you think of it, do you notice any sensations in your body?
Your thoughts are connected to the emotion you felt around a similar experience from the past. You are remembering a story you told yourself about the experience and the way it made you feel. Your body remembers the emotion more than it remembers the facts of the case. It attaches the emotion to every new experience that feels similar. And it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not.
You then begin to think more thoughts that strengthen the emotion, and you begin a loop cycle. You may be thinking that you’re not good enough. Then you remember another time in your life when you felt the same way, and now the emotion gets stronger. Perhaps you start to think you’re stupid for the choices you made. Maybe this brings up feelings of shame and anger, which make you feel worse. Here’s the spiral we all know and love.
However, when you are aware that you are caught in a loop cycle you can do something about it. It requires you to start acknowledging what you’ve been pushing away or have been completely unaware of the whole time.
Step 2: Feel your damn feelings, and do it fully.
Once you can actually feel your feelings, you can start the healing process.
You’ve got to feel it to heal it. The only way out is in. You’ve gotta go through it. Unfortunately there’s no shortcut to this one, and this is where many people stop or get stuck. Feeling your feelings isn’t easy, especially when they’ve been avoided or abandoned for a long time. But, this is the necessary step to setting yourself free from the beliefs that have been holding you down.
Go back to the thought about the pressing issue in your life. Do you still feel sensations? If so, where? What do they feel like? Sit with them for a minute. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Are you doing it?
Many people won’t allow themselves to feel what they feel, for whatever reason. But this is the key to removing those sabotaging beliefs. You don’t have to go back into the past and rehash old wounds. You just need to be willing to feel in your body where the energy has chosen to stick, and to simply be with it for however long it takes.
I remember squirming in my chair with the most uncomfortable feeling I have ever felt when I did this to remove something that was destroying my life. Tears and snot were dripping down my face. But I did it. It was so fucking hard, but I did it. And I have never had that energy come back to me since. I set myself free and you can do the same. You just have to be willing to feel.
If your sabotaging beliefs no longer have power over you then you are free. When the energy is no longer keeping you a prisoner of the past, you can change your beliefs to something more aligned.
(And I can teach you this in a private coaching session where we release one of your sabotaging beliefs and create the space for your success. Click here to book now.)
Step 3: Tweak your speak.
Your words matter more than you think, and everything you say becomes part of your physical experience.
Check yourself before you wreck yourself. The way you speak either constructs or destroys, and that energy has a long lasting effect. If you constantly put yourself down, how can you build the confidence to create success in your life? If you’re complaining about always being broke, or lonely, or unhappy, well you’re going to get more of the same.
What you put out is what you get back. So think about it. What are you saying over and over? How does that help or hinder your life? Get real with yourself and the way you speak about yourself, your life, your abilities, your world, the people in your life, and the dreams you have. Your words will start to show you what you believe to be true about all these aspects.
When you become aware of what is coming out of your mouth or rolling around in your head, you can find ways to make your words more powerful. Remove the sabotaging words that don’t help you construct and add in words that do. Find other ways of saying things so they become congruent with your desires.
For more on how to do this, check out “Manifesting Your Best Life: How to Tweak Your Speak Because Words Matter”.
Take the time to really notice what you’re saying. When you find yourself being negative, berating yourself, telling yourself you’re not good enough, or whatever, just say “STOP”. This one small action will help to start breaking the cycle. The more you can notice your patterns, the easier they are to heal.
Remember, your words, thoughts, and feelings will lead you to your beliefs.
Step 4: Challenge your old beliefs and replace them with new ones.
Easy right? Well your mind will fight you tooth and nail on this one, so be ready to hold fast to your desire to change.
What are your core beliefs about yourself? Do you believe that you can indeed create the life you desire, or are destined to be a victim of your circumstances because they sabotage your success? Do you believe in possibility or are you stuck in your current “reality”? What do you believe about your ability to change?
Beliefs are just thoughts you continue to think, so they can be changed. Your thoughts and feelings will lead you to your beliefs, which drive the bus that is your life. When you continually think things like “nobody loves me”, “I’m never going to be able to [fill in the blank]”, things like this always happen to me”, then how can you make any changes?
You’ve got to be willing to go beyond what you currently believe to be true. And have rock solid faith in yourself that there is another perspective you can tap into.
You can’t make yourself believe something that your subconscious “knows” to be false.
For example, if you are depressed and keep saying “I’m happy. I’M HAPPY. I’m fucking happy, damnit!” you aren’t going to get anywhere with changing your belief about being happy when you don’t currently believe that you can be.
However, (tweak your speak), if you were to say “I’m willing to experience joy today”, that’s a whole other feeling. Whereas telling yourself you’re happy (when you’re clearly not) may have felt resistant, this statement feels open and possible. This is the secret sauce to challenging and changing your beliefs. You’ve got to gently infiltrate the system.
What would you rather believe about yourself and your life? Are you willing to believe it can be a possibility to create those new beliefs? Are you available and committed to do the work to anchor in something new?
Step 5: Stay committed to your goal of growth and change.
I’m not going to sugar coat it and tell you all this is easy. It’s not. It takes work and dedication. But I will promise that you will get incredible results if you just stick with it. It’s not an overnight process but something that stays with you for your lifetime.
Tested by the universe you will be. You will face multiple triggers that push you to the brink of giving up. And this is where you have to dig deep and stay committed to your decision to change. People will try to pull you back into your old ways. Don’t let them.
You and only you get to decide how you show up in life. You can choose to play the victim and let your patterns run the show, or you can be empowered to make changes. When you fully decide to make a change, the universe does everything in its power to support you. However, if you revert back to your old ways because it feels too hard to work at the new belief, you will see evidence of your old life creeping back in.
Also, don’t berate yourself if you do take a step backwards. These times are for you to see things from a new perspective, learn any lessons that may have been missed, and to recognize how far you’ve come. It’s not punishment or a failure. It’s an opportunity for growth. (See that new belief of possibility I just threw in there? And if you don’t believe it just yet, say “I am willing to find the growth in this experience”).
You absolutely can find and remove those sabotaging beliefs that keep you stuck. You have to be willing to do the deeper work to set yourself free. And yes, that requires courage and determination. Another thing it requires is support. As much as we like to think we can, we can’t do it all alone. A lot of it we can, but not all of it.
Having the right people around you to inspire and lift you up is important. So is having the right environment. You need to create a safe, supportive, compassionate, non-judgmental space for yourself to do this healing work.
We can do this together if you’d like, and I can show you how to cultivate everything you need for success. Let’s create you a life you love to live. Book your session here.
You are a powerful force in this world. We didn’t come here to be bogged down with heaviness because of emotional baggage and sucky habits. You have the ability to create anything you desire. You just have to believe that you can.