How to Stop Obsessive and Ruminating Thoughts NOW.

It’s time to stop obsessive and ruminating over thoughts that aren’t serving you.

Do you sometimes find yourself thinking the same sort of thing over and over, and over? Scenarios play out in your head a million different ways and yet you have no resolution? Ruminating and obsessing about something (or someone) you have no control over?

If so, there’s good news: you’re just caught in a loop cycle of thinking and feeling. And that can be changed.

See, the mind and the body are directly connected, one influencing the other. Our thoughts are tied to emotions, and when synced up they create a vortex (aka a “spiral”) that attracts more of the same. This is why when you have a “negative” thought it seems to create more “negative” thoughts, and brings along a train of unpleasant feelings with it.

Luckily, thoughts can be changed. Once able to catch thought patterns, it becomes easier to stop them and redirect your focus to bring you out of the obsessiveness within the spiral.

Create Space

You need space within the clutter to start creating something new. 

This means you have to be open to letting some things change in order to gain that space. It might not be something you’re used to, which means you’ll have to get through a layer of resistance first. 

Breathing deeply and meditating are great ways to start creating space within yourself. A little stillness goes a long way physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically. With space in all these areas, solutions become more noticeable and healing more available. 

When we “create space” we are putting ourselves into a receiving mode for what we want. If we’re looking for better thoughts, then we’ve got to be able to find the space for them within all the overthinking or negative thoughts we tend to default to. And if we can’t find it, then we have to create it.

Do this by simply noticing your thoughts. What’s going through your mind on a regular basis? Can you write down all the thoughts and group them into patterns? When you can do this, you can start to create the space for your awareness to develop. 

Once you’re aware you’re falling into patterns of ruminating, you can catch yourself in the moment, breathe, and bring yourself back into the present. When you are present, there is no space for overthinking, as you are not stuck in the past or the future.

Be In the Body

Being present in the body gives us access to our patterns. 

When we are able to notice how we are feeling we can question or challenge it. Moving through emotions becomes easier because we are fully feeling what’s happening in the moment, rather than pushing it away.

Fully allowing yourself to feel emotions in the moment gives them somewhere to go. Energy gets stuck in the body when we aren’t willing to express emotions, and this causes imbalances and interruptions to our natural flow. 

Breathing and creating space in the body brings us to the present moment, which is where our true power is. In the present we aren’t stuck ruminating about things that happened in the past that we can’t control. We’re also not worrying about all the things in the future that may or may not play out.

In the Present, we can take the space to separate the “facts of the case” (aka the truth) about an experience from the “fiction”, which is the body’s emotional memory imprint. (Fun fact, the stories we tell ourselves about the experience are actually changed by the brain to fit our belief system.)

Being in the body allows us to step out of the cycle and work to solve the problem from a neutral and perhaps even more logical perspective.

Name It to Tame It

When you can name the thought as a pattern, as well as the emotion accompanying it, you can start to pull yourself out of the loop. 

Call yourself out. This will interrupt the loop, and also remind you that you do have control. And keep in mind, this is a muscle you have to exercise if you expect it to work. It takes time, and you’ll miss a ton of opportunities to catch yourself before you actually do.

Once you can call it what it is (this is anger and it’s because I don’t feel seen/heard) instead of relating it back to a story you tell yourself (I’m a piece of shit and no one ever listens to me because nothing I say has value), you start setting yourself free.

Finding the attachment of thought and emotion, and naming them for what they are, also neutralizes the emotional intensity related to that program. 

Find the Connection (and heal it)

After being able to name the thought and the emotion, dissolving it fully requires the connection to be severed. This means, when you think the thought, do you get flooded with emotions and pop like a shaken soda bottle, or are you calm and neutral, able to return quickly to balance like water?

If there’s still emotions, find the connection. It’s important to be willing to be in the physical body and actually feel the sensations and energy coming through. 

Ask yourself these questions:

How old do I feel?

What do I feel in my body?

Where do I feel it?

Why do I continue to believe I need this?

What can I learn from this?

Would I be willing to fully feel it and let it go?

Interrupt the Cycle

Any time that you catch yourself ruminating or setting up to spiral, remember that awareness is the key to freedom. The fact that you can catch yourself is the start of the healing and resolution process. 

Remember that it takes time to rewire your brain and body, so as you learn to interrupt the cycle, be kind to yourself. You’re unlearning most likely years of conditioning that has become very deeply ingrained in your system.

Note what works best for you when you find yourself ruminating or overthinking. Sometimes it’s taking a walk. Other times you might need to punch a pillow. Usually, a deep breath is all it takes. 

Deep breathing, as you remember, creates space in the body. Having this space gives you a chance to name the thought and/or feeling, and know that you have a choice as to how you respond.

Journaling is another way to interrupt the cycle. It gives you a chance to explore what might be underneath and can be used after the fact to help you understand the experience better.

Rewrite the Story

And speaking of journaling (y’all know I love a good segue!), it’s the perfect way to rewrite your story, which is what you’re going to have to do if you expect anything in your life to change.

The stories we tell ourselves create what we experience because they are based on our deeper beliefs. And whatever we believe will be true for us. These stories reveal themselves through the patterns we cycle through. 

If we’re telling ourselves that “we’re no good” then we will attract back experiences that confirm that belief. Just like when we tell ourselves “we’re broke”, life will continue to deal out expenses to keep you from where you want to be financially.

You’ve got to believe what you tell yourself when it comes to making transformations. 

What do you want your life to look like? When you think or dream about that, is there resistance? If so, go back and find where it lives in your body and work to dissolve it.

Rinse and Repeat

Consistency is key when it comes to making changes in your life. 

You’re going to fall off the wagon along the journey, and that’s ok. It’s all about how to respond to it when it inevitably happens. Do you fall back into old habits of berating yourself or shrinking to stay small? Do you give up and call it hopeless? Or do you reassess, name the pattern and tame the beast?

When you decide that you’re going to stop ruminating and overthinking, you start shifting the energy in your life to support your decision. You’ve got to anchor it in through constant repetition, whether that’s post-its on your mirror, a reminder on your phone, or an accountability partner. 

Remind yourself over and over of the new thoughts. Continue to explore the feelings that come up with the old stories and patterns that you are unlearning. Challenge and question your beliefs about things if you feel resistance or that something is “off”.

Your body will start to tell you what aligns and what doesn’t. The more you work to be present and notice your words, thoughts, actions, feelings, and beliefs, the easier it is to make changes and stop your cycles. 

Want to make changes in your life but can’t seem to get yourself out of a pattern? Book a Subconscious Rewrite Session to nail down the belief keeping you stuck and start to resolve it on the spot.